well lovelies, as dicki would say. i am off to boyfriend land and i am so exciting. hopefully it will be amazing , and if not, well that isn't going to happen. i smell lovely, since i just showered and i managed to find at least 6 pairs of cute underwear, its actually kind of nice having to fine acceptable underwear. i love you all and will speak with you either while im there, i do have a cell phone or when i get back, wednesday. i have not lost my wallet, and almost all of my stuff is packed. adios loves, kates getting married? ~adriane

oh i feel ucky, i guess i am in what you would call a funk. or soemthing like that, i wonder if there is a definition for funk (maybe someone could look that up for me, and i don't mean the music kind) i need my boyfirend or someone to call me and get me out of this. i am worried about social things with dance and such, and what i am doing for the summer. my parents said we might not go to italy and im not sure if i should go to orlando with this kinda sleezy guy who invited a bunch of people from my school. im just not as excited about my summer as i was a while ago.
senoir pieces are coming up and one is really good, and one sucks. it makes me sad when someone just can't get it together to make a good piece, she keeps on changing the choreography and then blames us when we can't keep up. oh dear this is going to be an interesting week. and then one more week of school and then vacation, is it weird that most of my time is spent counting down time until i get to see adrian again? my mother says we should just get betrothed so we don't have to worry about breaking up or anything, she said it would make it a lot easier lol. i dont know i actually never pictured this relationship lasting this long, i mean i plan on being with different people before high school is over, but what if this is it? i mean he really gets me. wow do i sound in love. i guess im also worried about whats gonna happen next time i see him. im not sure that im ready to go to that next physical level, but i mean i guess i could see it happening. i just don't wanna do anything im gonna regret, not that i would i just worry. and he wants to try pot, which i know it sounds ucky of me but i am glad. becuase then i think he will know what it feels like, and not be bothered by me occaisionally using drugs. by the way i have not done anything in over a month and a half. but anyway the dolls were amazing! i wish everyone could have been there. ill try to get myself out of this ucky ness, but im not promising anything.
~the real adaza

my mother officially knows who the dresdon dolls are, and can almost sing coin opperated boy. HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD? oh she also says she loves them, i don't know how i feel about this new found hipness brought to her by the river. i don't mind that she likes cool music, its just she happends to like anything they play just becuase they play it and others like it. we need to refine her music tastes, but i guess the dolls is a good place to start. she tolf me i was quiet as a child, a day of revelations

i want to be in a french movie. with glorious pinch waisted, full skirt dresses; down to the knee for just a hint of scandle. a sofisitcated lady with a hint of fem fatal. my hair done up in pins, which my love carefully removes, one by one, until my fruit sented waves fall delicately over one side of my face. we would play the match game, for each one lit an article coming off. no pantyhoes, just delicate naked legs. he would smell every inch of me. not touching until he finally gazed into my eyes, my soul windows. he would smile slightly and then kiss me softly, his bare lips just brushing mine.

yesterday i had one of those spill your guts, childhood memory, tell me all the times you thought you were a loser conversations. this of course was after adrian and i fought about me drinking 2 shots that were given to me by my parents, and i started crying about my mom being bitchy to me. anyway it was like he was really interested in how my friends had dumped me in 4th grade and what had hapend with 'pulling back the blinds' i just felt so conected to this one person. and i do want change, i don't want to be stuck in my ways, its funny how yoga can affect you, even when you thought some of it was compleate crap before. life is all about experiencing things.

i danced the whole way home today. and it wasn't the bob your head, possibly mouth the words to the song your listening to dancing. it was that jumping, spinning, laughing, happy dancing. the kind of dancing you see people on the street do when they are rocking out to their music, and you think: damn i wish i could be that confidant, unaware, uncaring, amazing, and happy as that person is. today i am that person
a man drove up and stopped me mid twirl and said "hey beautiful can i dance with you", and i smiled and said "sorry no" and he smiled and drove away. and i did feel beautiul. beautiful and amazing and in love.
it was one of those clean crisp blue cold days, days of infinant possibilities. a day to dance and sing and make love all in one. beautiful

"I was slung-lo and
So gung-ho
For anything to get me to start
I had my rock
I had my roll
But I couldn't find my spark

A flip of the hi-fi
A glimpse of the good life
And the clouds began to fade
I'm turning this B-side
Around to a de-light
Blue skies are here to stay

"She was so down, look at her now
She's never been so high!
Everyone knows, give it some time
The clouds'll clear the sky!"

Light the radio
Til it explodes
I'm dancin' til I drop
One small step
First right then left
I'm never gonna stop

"She was so down, look at her now
She's dancin' til she drops!
Everyone knows, give it some time
You'll find what you have lost!"

It is my style to take awhile
To put the feeling down to page
I get around to making sound
When the fancy meets the phrase!

"She was so down, look at her now
She's never been so high!
Everyone knows, give it some time
The clouds'll clear the sky!"

I'm gonna burst
Right out of this world
And I won't do it alone
A kick to the heart
A lift for the charts
One listen and we'll be gone
And then who cares?
We're debonair
And we're dancin' our way back home

"She was so down, look at her now
She's never been so high!
Everyone knows, give it some time
The clouds'll clear the sky!"

i can't believe im fucking done with math and humanities, i bought a celebration pillow

all i can say is it was amazing. i have no time to type, but i feel so connected. and hes so beautiful and smart and full of love. im trying not to gush but i just....... it was amazing. (and i know quite dirty, but theres no need to be ashamed, i was good i promis) i miss you all

as liza so poginantly put it, this is a formal adios until later. haha i love stealing other peoples lines, anyways tomorrow i am off to travel for the first time by my self. ahhhh, im actually excited, it will be nice to have some alone time (even though 7 hours is a bit much) and possibly take a nap for the first time in a long time. also if this trip works out, there is a very good chance that might be taking more trips like this in the future (without Mr. Garcia knowing about it, yes he knows i am going to visit my boyfriend, don't ask) and as long as i finish my seminar short story analysis before tomorrow, which i actually should be doing right now; i will only have to write my humanities this weekend. im not that nervous about spending 3 days only with adrians family, maybe i should be, but im not that smart lol. im just excited to be able to get to see him, to think its only been two weeks, from that glorious (semi dirty) weekend and actually my last blogdrive entry. wow i should really update,
anyway well i have to go but i love you all and ill talk to you on tuesday. thank you for the e-mail liza, you are fabulous. chessie you are a dawl, please come to duncan next week (it was so fabulous seeing you and eating too much on sat). kate you are my soul mate and im so sorry about the shoe shopping, i promis there were no drugs (just a crazy car ride) but i wanna see you so we should get together.
and every one (including me) should start planning my napoleon themed birthday party, cause i think it sounds fabulous, oh and yes a valintines day party (cause i don't think my kess is gonna be here, yes that is a new sicking nick name for him; tear. but im seeing him tomorrow so yayyayyay) vaginas rock.
p.s i didn't get into the play but i dont really care, i wasn't sure if i wanted to do it anyway, and it would have been crazy cause i would have had no time at all for any of you lovelies, and we can't have that now can we?
LOVE adriane (in love)

he was here for 4 glorious days, but now hes gone. i feel like i know him so well now, and seeing him go hurts, so much more than it did before. at times i fear he might love me too much, or get jelous but most of the time its just enough. he has gotten quite smooth though lol.