i don't know how i feel right now, not really happy or sad , i just am. usually when i am just being (which is a recreational activity i do sometimes) i am happy, but not now, its faintly odd.
i think for everyone this has been a week of crying, maybe the weather (i dont' really believe that but its something people blame their problems on a lot) i think it has more to do with the moon, beautiful and controling.
its odd how controled i am by my body, my bodies need to get rid of unwanted nourishment. maybe its mad at me for not having babies all the time, hmmm. period is such a controling word, like an ending to something, a life that could have been.
and what about sex? when is that supposed to happen? when your ready? when your old enough? this summer? if were ready is it ok? damn i wish my frontal lobes were developed, but im so fucking in love how can they not be, does it get more intense? i don't know if i can handle that.